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| Wow, it's been a while since my life has been as chaotic as it is now. I'm just glad that I have my friends, family and especially Rj. =]
Ahh, So it's been a month already and everyday I'm greatful that I got him.
It's just like a wow feeling in my stomach I feel when I think about him.
It's just really crazy to me, that all the times I've seeked to find something in someone else that did not exist.
And God finally pointed me in the right direction.
And now he's here I'm the happiest that I could ever be right now.
I don't know..=]]]]]]
What am i feeeling?
It's that feeling that makes your stomach do flips 100 times per minute that leaves you smiling for hours after seeing him or talking to him.
Time will tell.
I'm loving every second of it.
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| It's crazy to think back just a couple of years back, and think about how fun those times used to be. I miss my brothers a lot. Kuya Steveo & Kevin.
I miss them a lot a lot.
 
I remember the days when I used to feel like I had to watch the disney channel to fit in. I remember the days when I'd rather play prison ball than talk to teachers at recess. I was never much of a girly girl in the beginning. It's funny how the years can bring out changes; some for better some for worse.
Kevin & Steven are just two of the many friends I consider to be really really my true friends. The years have hit all three of us with challenges and blessings that have changed our lives. The three of us no longer go to the same school, but that never took away the love I have for my brothers. Yeah yeah, I have many other guys I've called my brothers but Kuya Steveo & Kevin have been there since ever. We met in Kindergarten, and it's funny how they both became my brothers. Kevin had always been a close friend, but he was always the guy I had a crush on. As time went on, I learned that sometimes friendships aren't worth losing over a relationship. He's been like a little brother to me ever since. Kuya Steveo and I used to HATE eachother. Then one day it all changed, it was silly but we wondered why we ahdn't had become friends sooner. We may not see eachother much anymore or get to talk much, but I know they got me.
I have many fond memories of those days. I remember staying up ALL night on the phone on 3-way talking about stupid stuff.  Them talking about girls, and me just acting dumb. Listening to them sing Jojo songs and wait for the "Sunshine" video by Lil` Flip to come on. I remember July 4, stealing their food and going up to girls and asking for their names for them. Going to the mall only to walk back to my house in the rain and finding out we had to break inside my own house. Steveo breaking down the door and Kevin almost breaking my window. I miss my mom thinking they were "together" and them stealing food at my house. I remember our plan to go have a road trip in the Philippines one day and have our kids be friends and be their godparents for eachother. I've seen them at their best and at their worst and they've seen me at my best and worse also. I think that whatever life throws at you guys, it'll be alright in the end, because that's what you guys tought me. I swear, If it weren't for you guys' playful attitudes and chill point of view, I'd be stressing to the max. I still stress and when you guys see me losing my ground, it all comes right back together again. We may not be young anymore, but it's all good.
They got me like white on rice, and I got them too. =]
I love you guys, and I miss you very much.
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| Some things I Have learned:
1. Life is too precious to take for granted.
2. Our loved ones are not gaurenteed to us.
3. Take pride in what you do and do it well.
4. Love yourself before loving others.
5. God gives us only what he knows we can handle.
6. There is always sunshine after the rain.
7. When the world is spinning, look around to see what is still there and those things are what really matter.
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I can't believe how much time has gone by since I last entered a blog. I've learned so many lessons in life that I never thought I'd have to learn in such a short amount of time. It's really crazy that it hasn't even been a year yet. The continuation of my story begins way back in May, when my mom was sick. As things became worse, I began to realize the reality of things. Mom got worse, and we soon found out it was cancer. It hit me hard, we all thought that the cancer had gone away with the surgery in 2004. She went with God on July 2, and I'll never forget that day. The feelings I felt, the tears, the aching feeling in my stomach that cut into my heart and broke it into pieces. As I stood there, I made her a promise, a pinky promise that I would be better. All the memories, all the things I had put her through flashed before my eyes, and I realized it was for the best, she no longer had to feel the pain. After she died, I soon started junior year, and life pretty much began to pick up the pace and move on. I was soon forced to move into my uncle & auntie's house. The change was all to drastic and I soon began to have emotional breakdowns. Schoolwork became hard, and family life was getting tougher everyday. Although we had my uncles & aunties to watch us, it pretty much felt like I was left to be the only role model that my sister had left. Along with school, my grades became a major issue with my family. They began to beat up on me over small things such as my B+ grade. As hectic as life got my friends remained the guardian angels in my life that I thank God for sending to me everyday. They've helped me and my sister in so many ways. Nothing could ever replace all the memories they've given to us. On my birthday, they threw a surprise birthday party for me and it amazed me that everyone was there. I mean all the people I loved from the different parts of my life. My bestest friends, people I barely met, St. George and St. Mary's friends, youth group, my sister, and even people I never met before. It was a major eye opener for me and showed me life in a whole new point of view. I'm sure it was what God wanted for me, and mommy too. From that point on, my friends and the family I do have left have become the lucky stars in my life, holdling me up when life seemed like its hardest. School has been alright since then, I've kept my grades up, at least above an average of 3.5.  I have to admit life is pretty unpredictable. I soon got my liscence in December and that was a major upside for me. I also got a job at Payter's. It was really time consuming and difficult to maintain a stable schedule with school and family life so I decided to quit after about 2 months. So not long after this, I began to date this guy Kristian. I won't go into that much besides asking myself what the hell I was thinking. I can't stand the thought of him and what he did to me, but I let it go, because it's not even worth ANY of my time. I'm kind of grateful because I began to get close with friends that I had not talked to in a while: Aj, Floyd, Glannie, and Dio. So life moved on, I knew that that was just an obstacle and I got over it. One minute I thought that I had found the bestest friends ever, and suddenly I found an even bigger family.This family is no other than the 2007 recollection retreat staff. Youth group had always been an important element of my life, but nothing ever like this. I can't say much about all the things we did, all I can say is that I'm glad I can call these people my family and my best friends, many tears and many laughs, but we all pulled through it together. We came together and made retreat the greatest accomplishment I'm proud of.  It was all thanks to D, core staff, Darrin, Jono, Desiree, Lee, Stacey, Ross, Leanne, Nick, Rj, Phil, Kayla, Ali, Willie, X, and Zack. With these people we were able to meet a new family at retreat. Our new brothers and sisters that I'm glad I was lucky enough to be able to be a part of their lives. I love them to death and I wouldn't stand to lose any one of them. Somewhere along the way after retreat, I found someone really special. Someone that makes all those assholes in the past seem like ants. Rj Teczon. I dunno how it all started. After our formal which I went to with Aj, and him with Ruby, I began to get to know him more. I've known him as a friend for a long time now, but something about the way he makes me feel, gave me the courage to do something about it. At first, I wasn't so confident, after I found out there was a total of 4 girls liking him, including me. So I waited, and eventually things turned around and I'm greatful that they did. On March 21, 2007 he asked me out. It was a major shock, but it made me really really happy, especially because I was still really down about my aunite passing away and all. It's crazy because it seems like I've lost a lot of people. My Auntie Elena lived with me and me and her used to argue everyday, despite the fact that she basically was my 2nd mom. Her passing was a major shock. The passing of Ivan Barcel was also a shock, he was like a cousin in law to me, but I didn't really get to know him until he started coming to youth group. It made me realize that life is precious. All the events that have taken place and all the memories that have been made have come to influence the person I am today, but it's not the end of my story. I'm just glad I'm able to write what I can. Thank you for reading about my life, Thank God for giving me life, Thank you mom for being my best friend and inspiration, thank you friends and family for giving me a reason to believe and smile again. God bless..
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| ok, so summer vacation sucks. I wanna go to L.A. but damn summer school. Which starts today by the way. Since mothers day my mom has been really sick. I havent gone out of the house at all ... im starting to feel isolated .. but i pray to God that he heals her.. | | |
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